5 Steps To Self Actualization

"Every human action, whether it has become positive or negative,
must depend on motivation."
-- Dalai Lama

Monitoring what motivates me has helped me see how I am growing.
I do things for different reasons now than I did 10 years ago. As
we pay ongoing attention to our motives, we can see how both our
conscious and unconscious attitudes are changing.

Here are some ways that our motives can shift with rising
consciousness:
- I desire
- I want to collect things
- I want to know
- I want to serve
- I want to be

What are your motives as you participate in life?

"There are three kinds of people and three kinds of richness:
- people who want to have, to collect
- people who want action, work and labor
- people who want to be

"The real richness is in be-ness. People can take all that you
have, all that you collected. People can stop your labor, or an
accident can stop you. When you are, you never lose what you
are."
-- Torkom Saraydarian

"You are what you think. You are what you go for. You are what
you do!"
-- Bob Richards

"A good intention clothes itself with power."
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Copyrite; Brought to us by www.higherawareness.com

Intent is often either the helper or hinderance in any endeaver. The thought behind the thought. What is it that truly motivates me in what I do or choices I make? Oftentimes I/We don't even know the real reason, or motivation. It is the thought behind the thought, our original motivation that must be realised.

God Bless~~

Table In The Presence

You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
Psalm 23:5

"A dramatic account of how a U.S Marine Battalion experienced Gods Presence amidst the chaos of the War in Iraq." Quote from the cover of Table In The Presence. Copyrite 2004. Written by Lt Carey H. Cash.

Last Easter Vigil I was confirmed. A new member to the Catholic Church. It was a huge step for me. Going from Celtic Pagan beliefs, to Buddhism, to Christianity, to Christian Catholicism. Over ten years of study. It has not always been easy. Nor as simple as it should be. I don't doubt that I have done the right thing. Like many Christians though, I wonder if God Loves me. Or if God can forgive me. For my sins. For my failures. Is God with me? I have alot of fear at times. Fighting negative things I learned growing up. Struggling with worthiness. When something goes wrong, I feel it's that old "curse." Or payback for some terrible thing I did.

I was wandering around the library thinking I should get a book. Not really wanting one because I have alot of books collecting dust. Yet, since it's Memorial Day weekend. I thought I should get at least one book about the military. To be quite honest I focussed on the Marines. Searching through the available books, this one caught my eye. I like to read personal stories. Lt Carey H Cash is a Chaplain in the Navy. He was with the Marine 1st Battalion, 5th Regiment as they crossed the border of Kuwait into Iraq.

The beginning of; Operation Iraq Freedom.
"Brought to us by the United States Marines!!"

Is God in Iraq? Well, I always thought God is all over because He created this world. Plus, it's a place of alot of misery and pain. When Saddam was in power. So of course God would be there. Yet I never really thought in line with this book. Prepare? God prepares for us? God is previous. He knows long before we do. God prepares and stays with us. No matter which path we choose.

I took my car to the mechanic on sunday. So I brought the book along. Thinking the repairs may take a while. Nervous and worried I was about the cost. Bottomline; my bank account could be busted wide open. I need to pay rent, buy food, then there's my guys and gals. In the back of my mind I knew I could call my sister and ask for a loan. But still. The fear stayed with me the 2 hours it took before they even looked at the car......

He rescued me from my powerfull enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for me.
They confronted me in the day of my disaster,
but the LORD is my support.
You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning;
my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop;
with my God I can scale a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect;
the world of the Lord is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
Psalm 18:17-18, 28-30 NIV

Sometimes the only enemy we have is fear. I pray Psalm 91 for the troops. Also as I went through the illness, I began to take on the concept of His being my shield. All my life I have felt shieldless. No-one walked with me. It is an inward battle to be able to rely and accept.

My child and I have learned alot from the Troops we have written too. So much about courage and sacrifice. Accepting what we have rather then feeling we have nothing. Some may call me a failure. Because I am not rich and often live from paycheck to paycheck. The point is though, to be comfortable where we are and with what we have. For some it is a learned thing. Inspired by our Soldiers. Especially for a teen!! I will never forget her face as we read a letter about our soldier not having water. Washing his clothes in a cooler. Or how he wanted to go to college. Our prayers that he would come home to go. Things we take for granted. They wait for, or live without. Even driving my car where I want to go, when I want to go there, is something they can't do. But to them the sacrifice is worth it. There is something far greater going on here.

At some point during this war I began to see; Yes there is something greater at work there. Just as there is here.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not upon your own understanding.
In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.
Proverbs 3:5-6

I never realised the numerous writings in the bible about war. The battles the Israelites went through. Yet in some ways life is about wars. Battles. Inward and outerward. Battles for morals and boundaries, battles for self-esteem. The fight for life not death. Spiritual death rather then physical. Yet I digress....

Sitting there afraid my world was going to be ripped apart financially, this book calmed me. Selfish this reads I know. Does God care if I have a working car? Well of course! How else will I make the money to feed and cloth my child. Or send the things I love to send to my Troops. I don't mean to belittle what these Marines went through or still go through. Yet in the midst of our deepest, darkest nights we are supposed to seek the light and take cover. No matter what happens large or small.

I was in tears, as I read about marines being baptised in the dessert. I know when I was confirmed it was one of the highlights of my life. The fears these marines live with aren't similar to mine. Alot more intense and serious they are. But fear is fear. They overcome there's to do what must be done. Lean on the Lord as friends are losing there lives or limbs. Why can't I? Faith. A deep and abiding faith in Christ that it will be allright, it will work out.

They are facing life and death circumstances while I face this. It humbles me. Makes me greatfull. Somehow something inside of me moved, and I felt and incredible foundation being built. From which to move forward. A solid base. Books have an incredible power to move people. Too inspire. The people in this book inspire me to move forward with a semblance of confidence.

This book, not only reinforced my faith. But it also gave me a stronger basis for it.
Another aspect; The beginning of this war is something I think people may need to go back too. As some flounder back and forth. The reason for it hasn't changed. If you wonder what the troops were thinking as this began, here are some answers. If you wonder how they persevere. Here are some incredible answers. Interspersed are some awesome miracle stories. Things that happened that can't be explained. Unless we realise, there are real Angels sent by God to watch over us. That Michael the Archangel is not a myth. That Christ really does walk. There, here, everywhere.

If we can just accept Him.

Plus it gave me some more prayers for The Troops. I never thought to pray that the enemy would become confused. Drop there arms. I believe prayer has power. Also now I have thought to pray that Muslims see Mohammed.{PBUH} Maybe he can straighten out their fanatics. Remind them of the compassion and caring He spoke of. As we have Christ they have Him. Peace be upon Him.

I would recommend this book to any seeker. People that aren't Christian. People that want to understand a bit more about our troops. The "loyalty" of the Marines. Or want to revisit the beginning of this war. Not the politics, but those that waited for the command.

As time goes by I am going to post excerpts from this book. It is an awesome read. I finished it by Monday morning!!!

God Bless our Armed Forces!!

Ps; Update, over 500$ spent on the car. It is taken care of though. I have an opportunity to catch up!!

Psalm 23;
The Lord is my shepherd;
I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

PFC Caleb Lufkin

Photo from HOI 19online

Knoxville Soldier laid to rest

Saturday, June 3, 2006

by KEVIN SAMPIER
of the Journal Star

With a 21-gun salute and taps playing slowly on the bugle, hundreds of Knox County residents laid to rest a 24-year-old soldier Friday afternoon.
Friends, family, co-workers and total strangers turned out in droves at the Bethel Baptist Church for the funeral of Army Pfc. Caleb Lufkin of Knoxville.
It quickly became standing room only in the church, where the Rev. Ernest Pizzamiglio read statements written by Lufkin's family.

"Caleb, so many people have commented in the wake of this disaster on that lovely smile of yours that they will miss," wrote Lufkin's mother, Marcy Gorsline. "You were still smiling the first day of kindergarten as I found it so hard to let go of your hand. 'I'll be OK,' you said over your shoulder.

"You said the same thing as you went to Iraq as you looked over your shoulder, with your Army pack on your back."

Lufkin, a member of the 5th Engineer Battalion, 1st Engineer Brigade of Fort Leonard Wood, Mo., died May 25 at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., from complications during surgery to repair shrapnel damage to his leg.

Lufkin suffered broken bones and lacerations May 4 in Iraq when the vehicle he was riding in struck a roadside bomb. Two soldiers riding with him were killed.

Lufkin's best friend, Chad Clevenger, told the crowd about the fun times the two had together and read a poem for his fallen friend. The crowd wept.

"Saying goodbye to you is the hardest thing I've ever done," Clevenger said.

Banjo music played over the church sound system in honor of Lufkin's skill with the instrument.
After the service at the church, a large procession of motorcycles, police cars, fire trucks and scores of cars slowly made their way to the Knoxville Cemetery in Knoxville, where Lufkin was laid to rest with full military honors.

He was awarded the Bronze Star, Purple Heart, the Combat Action Badge and the DeFleury Medal for his actions in Iraq.

Brig. Gen. Todd Semonite presented Lufkin's parents with the medals and the folded American flag from the casket and told the people gathered around the grave site about the work Lufkin did in Iraq.

He said Lufkin's team had found 12 roadside bombs during search missions for the hidden explosives.
"And somewhere, there are a lot of soldiers and children that are alive in Iraq because of Caleb's efforts," Semonite said. "We've been there. We know how dangerous it is."

Also in attendance were sergeants who served in Iraq with Lufkin and his drill instructor.
After "Amazing Grace" was played on the bag pipes and a final prayer was offered, the crowd began filing out of the cemetery.

But Marcy Gorsline stayed for a moment, sobbing with her head down, touching her son's casket for the last time - her actions showing the painful truth in the last line of her written statement.
"You are forever in my heart."

Article from The Journal Star

Gob Bless This Hero and His Family~~

Looking for safety?

"Security is when everything is settled, when nothing can happen
to you; security is the denial of life."
-- Germaine Greer

Our personality likes to be in control. It likes to know how
things are and what’s going to happen. Underlying this desire for
stability and predictability is a deep fear that the world is a
dangerous place. The personality fears it will not survive
without continually being on guard.

The truth is: we cannot control what happens in life. And under
the natural law of attraction, we tend to attract to us what we
focus on. EXPLORE SUBSTITUTING TRUST FOR FEAR and the world
becomes a gentler, happier place.

"There are no guarantees. From the viewpoint of fear, none are
strong enough. From the viewpoint of love, none are necessary."
-- Emmanuel

"One thing we can do is make the choice to view the world in a
healthy way. We can choose to see the world as safe with only
moments of danger rather than seeing the world as dangerous with
only moments of safety."
-- Deepak Chopra

Brought to us by Higher Awareness

Searching, living for tomarrow...

People seem to look more towards tonight, tomorrow.

I do this at times.

Next week.

Next year.

Trying to get through or get past. Enduring each day, hoping tomorrow will be better. Wanting to see the future. People pay millions to see what there future holds. Oftentimes seeking these answers from complete strangers. What is in store for me?

Either we live in the past with our accumulated issues. Or we live in the future hoping things will improve or become how we think it should be. How it should be. Because at this time things just aren’t right. This is not how things should be.
Should, could be. Will be if I just wait longer.

Seeking to accumulate wealth, material possession’s people in their lives. People accumulate friends like "myspace" buddies. Collecting and counting. Friends collected like coins in a jar. To pull out when we want to impress. See how many friends I have? As if they can tell me that I belong or that I am worthy.

Who has time for thousands of friends?
Who has the consideration and patience to be a true friend to them all?
Why do we look for relationships with strangers when our community is right outside our doors?

It works because the illusion is, the Internet is free space. I don’t have to be myself; I don’t even have to be truthful about who I am or what I do. The facade people create on the internet. Is a reflection of the facades created in real life. Pretence and illusion. Rather then reality and fact.

Often we are so busy accumulating or planning and plotting the future that we don’t see what we have right now.
Right now.
What do I have?

As I am working on my comp, acknowledging the praise of my internet pals, my child sits watching t.v.
"Don’t bother me now daughter or son, I am talking to my friends."

There is nothing wrong with the internet. Just don’t allow it to become my entire existence. Try not to create some false world, rather then accept the reality of my existence now.

Or my parents are wondering how I am. Why haven’t I called? My sister as well. My friends, wondering why I can’t go out.
I am wasting precious time.
Wasting time.

Each day is the opportunity to count our blessings. Look around and see all that I have. Right now, is all that matters. Because tomorrow may never come. We are not guaranteed we will be here tomorrow. I am not guaranteed I will be here an hour from now.

Would I want things left unsaid?
Could I leave, knowing everyone in my life. Every true friend, every family member, every co-worker. Knows how I feel about them. That I am grateful for them. That I count them as blessings. That I cherish them? Look around and cherish, embrace what I have right now. Keep my loved ones close, and tell them often how much they mean to me.

Fix the problems, deal with the situations.

Never allow things to wallow or languish.

Accept what I have right now. Cherish it.

Embrace each day, as if it were my last. Accept all I have now and stop looking for more, or to get over that hill. People mistakenly think life is about endurance. Life is about accumulating or wealth. When really I think life is about love. The love we have, through friendships and family. Because tonight or tomarrow may never come.

God Bless~~

Army Captain Shane Mahaffee

Photo from the Daily Herald.

This past weekend R and I embarked upon a new mission. Usually our missions are based on cookies, laughter and smiles. Care packages, letter writing, and cookie drops. Letting our Armed Forces know we care and appreciate there diligence and sacrifice. Whether or not people realize it. They are serving our beautifull country. Let’s thank them!!!


This was her second mission, my first. I had joined Patriot Guard Riders a while ago. When I decided on going to this one, a gracious PGR member gave me some tips;


* Drive carefully because your mind will be elsewhere.
* Don’t be afraid to cry. Don’t be afraid to get emotional, you will.


"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness.” Timothy 2

Once again, a complete stranger alters my life. It seems to have become the theme of my daily life. I meet so many people without physically shaking there hands. Without meeting in the same room, they indelibly touch my life. Our SPC, adopteds, and “people I should know.”

After driving an hour. {It was supposed to take me 30 minutes to get to the church.} I finally pulled into the parking lot through the back-way because I had missed the first turn. I saw the motorcycles parked. Feeling greatfull I headed for them. As I turned the corner I saw the police lights. The hearse was pulling into the church parking lot heading my way. I pulled my car aside. As it drove past I thought, “this is real.” He is really in there. Why I thought that I cannot say. My eyes teared up, softly I said; “welcome home.”

People are so considerate. I walked up to the PGR, asked for Scoot. What a sweetheart!!! I think there is too much hype about PGR being bikers. Bikers are people too. I have met many in my life that are kinder and gentler then some circuit court judge, or some movie star. They have a loyalty and dignity about them at times that can rival any other group.

There was a part of me, possibly any person that wonders if I/they should be there. Should I go to this wake and funeral? I would never want to intrude on this family’s grief. Never want to infringe on this time for them to say goodbye to there loved one. Yet the Patriot Guard, makes it all-right. All-right? Makes it possible to do this in a respectfull manner.I have always wanted to do this. Reads wrong I know. But I always wanted to be there and let these families know I care their loved one made the ultimate sacrifice so that I could be safe. For our beautifull and glorious country. For our children to have a better world. I see the implications and the benefits of our Armed Forces endeavers overseas. I was one of those that only saw the negative side of this war. Now I am an Armed Forces supporter. Military families are the backbone of our military. I admire them and see them as heroes as well. Keeping the home fires burning, while there loved ones are away long periods of time. God Bless them!!

Being respectfull to this family is the Patriot Guard Riders way. I was touched at the lengths they go to accomplish this. Don’t talk to the families, don’t approach them. We stand silently or talking quietly. Holding the flag. Each one in his or her own thoughts. I thought a lot about my guys and girls overseas.

Matthew and his letter about the 16 mile jog his platoon went on through the desert terrain. If there are sheep in an area, then that’s a sign there probably aren’t IED’s.

The Lt whose wife is having a baby in august, and how he is hoping to be there for the birth of His first child. They patrol baghdad everyday and yes it’s a green zone? But still a hotbed for terrorists.The sacrifices our Armed Forces make. There endurance in any given situation.

My adopted soldier, in our first phone conversation last december told me it’s the Soldiers; Army Captain Shane Mahaffee that is the true Hero.

I thought about this Soldier. His willingness to go directly into harms way. He was a Lawyer. Could have stayed home.

Quote from Daily Herald written by Tony Gordon;"Shipped to Fort Jackson, S.C., to begin training, Mahaffee became friends with a group of 11 other officers with similar assignments who nicknamed themselves "The Dirty Dozen."

One of that group, Capt. Matt Lawton of Washington, D.C., served in the same unit in Iraq with Mahaffee, and was in the convoy with him when Mahaffee was wounded.

Mahaffee was in the first vehicle of the convoy when it was struck by a roadside bomb.
"Even after he was wounded, he attempted to walk out of the vehicle and he had raised his weapon against the enemy," Lawton said. "He was talking about setting up a security perimeter when one of the enlisted men had to tell him to lie down so he could treat him."

Mahaffee was awarded the Combat Infantry Badge and the Bronze Star and Purple Heart medals for his service in Iraq, which lasted just 25 days."End quote

I also said the rosary, our father. Thought about my family and how much I love them. Sometimes didn’t think at all, just looked out on the horizon. Glancing at the guys that were military to see how they stood. These guys know the best way to stand, because some of them do it often, or have done it often. One military man had just returned from Afghanistan on Thursday. Made the drive down to participate in this. That is awesome!!! I was honored to stand by him. Truly it is an honor to stand by each of these patriotic and caring individuals!!!


PGR is invited by the family to attend. When Captain Shane Mahaffee’s parents walked down the line shaking each of our hands. I became teary eyed. It is touching that they would. My heart went out to them. How gracious of them to take the time to thank me, and I thanked them. For allowing me to be there. For there sacrifice. God Bless them and Shane!!!


People stopped and thanked us. Many just nodded. The flags never wavering. Never touching the ground. What a majestic sight it is from the distance!!! The flag. She? Is a winsome one, at times difficult to manage. She waves at her own accord. Yet she will always wave. When our country falters, when people doubt, no matter what the flag will continue on...

Just like our Armed Forces. These brave men and woman, willing to make the ultimate sacrifice in service to our beautifull, glorious country!

God Bless Captain Shane Mahaffee and His family!!!

This is just the first installment of this sorrowfull and heart touching experience. I find each day, I am still thinking about it. Looking at the pictures. My eyes well up and I am greatfull to have been able to be there. I can’t get back to where I was before this began. Perhaps that is for the best.

God Bless~~

Protest or gently let them know????

Recently my daughter and I went to the local jewel/grocery store. Flags are on sale. So I bought a few.

One for the car, one for the balcony, some to just wave around. We need a 3 by 5 for the wake/funeral we are going to attend, and memorial day. Also Flag day is coming up.

As we unfolded them the sticker clearly said;"Made in China"

Okay? What the heck is this? Aren't there American companies that make our flag? Shouldn't stores here sell the flag made by americans not another country?

I am going to google american flag companies and give them the list.

What do you think?

Mardi Gras!!!

It was a Mardi Gras celebration at work today!!!

I was talking to a co-worker that is in New Orleans about a month ago. Business of course. When we got on the subject of the devistation there. I asked him some questions. It seems alot of people there say the same thing; "It's worse then what you see on t.v." Some of my co-workers lost there homes. We had a collection at christmas and before. We have three warehouses out there and offices.

Somehow we got on the subject of my volunteer work with SA.
He said he had "a few" mardi gras beads left over. Could I use them to send to the troops?
Sure!!

He called me early this week and said, "I am sending you the beads."

Today our mail guy brings me this huge box!! So huge he had trouble taking it off the cart. Hm? Opening it up, it was full of bags of mardi gras stuff. Cups, noise-makers, frisbees. Stuffed animals. Plus a ton of beads!! All kinds!!!

My co-workers had a great time picking some out. I actually called him so he could hear them choosing some beads. One girl took some for her kids; Children that had survived cancer. She hesitated, and I told her take as many as you like!!

There are still a ton left!!!

I was planning on sending some packages out to my Soldiers. The bags are Mardi Gras bags, so I can send them in those. This way maybe they can have a little celebration for themselves!!!

People are so very cool!! Here M is living in an area, still devistated by a natural disastor and can think of someone else, far away. People like supporting the Troops!!

God Bless!!